What happens when acting and life both need you at the same time?

Actors spend a lot of time worrying about life derailing our careers. We get sick on the day of an audition. A family emergency happens during a run. An important event collides with a callback. And somewhere in our heads is that old rule: the show must go on.

But sometimes there isn't a choice where everybody wins. There are just two things that matter to you competing for the same space on the calendar.

In this episode of The Working Actor NYC Podcast, Benjamin Howes and Patrick Richwood talk about calling out of shows, performing when you probably shouldn't, the particular agony of missing an audition you'll never get back, and the "coulda, shoulda, if only" thinking that follows. We dig into where the "never miss a show" mythology actually comes from (it's older than Ethel Merman), the real story behind "break a leg," and what it's like when an entire cast gets sick and the understudies aren't ready.

And then we turn the question around: What weddings, birthdays, trips and other pieces of our lives have we missed because we were protecting our careers — or simply protecting our availability in case an opportunity came along? Benjamin shares a personal story about a career-altering moment he almost missed, and how he's had to make peace with the calendar all over again this week, as he heads to a family funeral while a new show waits for him.

There isn't an easy answer. Acting matters to us. So do the people and experiences that make up our lives. Maybe building a sustainable acting career means accepting that sometimes acting and life are going to compete for the calendar — and deciding which one gets the date.